Update since i fell off the blog-wagon & and a birthday!

i know it's been AWHILE since I've been here - life has had it's challenges with me and I'm just getting to put all my ducks in a row now - FINALLY - still a lot to work on and accomplish - but things are looking up-up-and away!

CHRISTMAS

i hosted Christmas again this year - that's THE holiday i always host - but ended up violently ill - but thankfully i had everything prepared for the main course and my Brother stepped up and saved the day and cooked dinner and dessert - otherwise Christmas was everything it was meant to be and more - my family sharing love, laughter, and smiles in my home - i can't ask for a single thing more!

WEIGHT

i'm convinced i'm an experiment project - was put on new meds and put 35lbs on in 1 yes ONE month - so there goes my Dr's idea that i had an eating disorder (which i have battled in the past, but been free of for years) - each time i get on new meds i get sicker and sicker - i won't go into details - but it's been a bad quality of life on these meds so i have decided to stop them - on a positive note - i finally joined a gym - i'm now a proud member of Bally's and have a personal trainer for 3 months - so rock solid body this summer here i come!

HEALTH

as i mentioned my health has pretty much taken over my life - today seeing my Dr - he thinks it has to do with my positive ANA results (auto immune disease) - so next step is to see a Rhumatologist (sp) and get more testing done - but i have been putting this off b/c just like my cancer results - do i really wanna know? - the BRCA positive results have turned my world upside down - and to find out if i really do have a serious illness going on, well i'm scared - and goes back to - is it better to know or not to know? - this changes moment to moment for me - it hasn't been easy to say the least

HOUSE

i finally got a new roof on my back porch - so no more leaks and no more raccoon living in my ceiling - most decorations from Christmas are away except all the decor outside, i just can't seem to take them down, makes me so happy to see my house all lighted up and candy canes lining my walkway - but i'm also ready for a change! - i know "so soon?" - but it's the Gemini in me, i need change - so i'm working on ideas to change things up a bit in my place - maybe some new wall art, new colors, ect. - my mind is in a tizzy thinking of all the things i wanna re-do or should i say re-vamp .. call me crazy - but i think 1 year of my house pretty much staying the same is driving me NUTS - but my spending freeze is putting a damper on buying new furniture - so looks like paint and innovative ideas will have to do the trick!

MOM

she still has her good day's and bad day's - she's complete with the double mastectomy with reconstruction except getting a nipple tattooed on her which she is debating on - but i have to say after seeing everything my Mom is going through breaks my heart and soul every day and makes me question how "preventative" i want to be (her eye site is still poor and walking is still a struggle, if she gets out of the house it;s usually only for doctor appts, otherwise she's still too sick to "live life") - but she's a force of power and she makes it through each day somehow which makes me empowered to make it through any rough days i have - she's such a strong soul - even when the physical therapy place gave her 3rd degree burns on her buttocks - the intense pain she still pulled through - but i can't lie - it's been a tough road and she still has a bit to go before she's in the clear and out of pain - her breasts hurt A LOT - but she's on her journey to full recovery which i can't be more over the moon about - to have a cancer free Mom - thank you God for looking down upon us and helping!

DAD

my Dad is doing great - in extreme pain all the time from the knee replacement - but PT says he's way ahead of schedule in what he can do - and i am so proud of him pushing himself to the limits to get himself back to health - he still has another knee to get done - but that won't be for awhile, a long while to say the least - i just can't wait to be able to see him back in his garden, on his boat, making wine and cheese, and doing all the things that make my Dad one of a kind and so special!

BLING

i have been in talks with Joe about a possible engagement - i use to always think i wanted a 4ct emerald cut center ring with an eternity band around it with diamonds on the prongs as well - WELL i discovered that isn't the person i am anymore - i mean i won't be upset with a 4ct ring, but i discovered raw diamonds and that's all that's on my mind - they aren't the sparkle you get with a regular cut diamond - but they are so unique and i actually found a ring i'm in LOVE with - it's very hippie/retro and calling my name - this talk goes along with me REALLY considering having a baby this year - this is all TALK right now - i still haven't decided really how i want my future to go and how i want to reach it - but i do know now i do want a baby or 2 or 4 - i KNOW a huge jump from a girl who never wanted to get married and ONLY considered adopting as an option!

GIVE-AWAY

i have a friend who has a line of organic products she makes - she is in the process of getting together a website and i'll be debuting her line on Tiptoe Butterfly - i'm all about organic since my BRCA diagnoses - so all my deodorants (did you know regular deodorants are actually carcinogens - an awful thing to put on everyday) , body wash, food, ect. -  i go for organic now - i also no longer wear bra's for they are really not good for a women's body (did you know that?) - ok i do wear a bra when i HAVE to - but otherwise i'm a free bird with my lady lumps - i find it freeing actually!

PRODUCT REVIEW

coming soon i have a product review of a candle i got from an amazing company - more info to come soon!

NEED YOUR HELP!

next week i'll be in the city meeting with the heads of Bright Pink to see what kind of volunteer work i can do - but i still need your help and support with my race coming up in May! - any little donation will help - and i BEG for even just $5 - this money goes straight to Susan G. Komen to find a cure for breast and ovarian cancer! - i need funds and teammates for my run - PLEASE, yes i'm BEGGING, for a little support - it would me the world to me and more! - let's make it that our daughters will NEVER have to worry about this disease ever again!!!!!

BLOG FRIEND

i have the most amazing opportunity coming up - Lisa from HamptonToes has invited me to join her at the D and D building in NYC and introduce me to the field of design - i'm over the moon with this adventure - i also have been sorta' stalking her over the years begging her to let me intern - haha - she's been a dear friend since blogging - so much in common and she has kindly opened her world to me - i couldn't be more thankful for such a great blog friend - i can not wait to spend the day with her and see her amazing spirit and her talents! - she's a soul i know i will connect with forever - know the feeling? - i adore all my soul sisters and i have been lucky enough to have encountered so many on my road of life - it makes my life so much richer - so much to be thankful for here!

ACCIDENT
Christmas Eve i got into a car accident - so Elmo (yes, my car has a name) can't wink at people on the passenger side - i think he's REALLY missing it and i know i am too - everyone was totally fine in the accident - thank god - just material things to get fixed - so all in all i'm not upset over it at all - even as much as i love Elmo, i know he can get fixed and there's no reason to get upset over material possessions - things could have been worse! *heads up to you Universe looking out for me*

BIRTHDAY
so my baby doll Caitlyn, my Niece, turned 6 on the 26th of December - and her friends birthday party was at "Pump-It-Up" - a huge jumpy play house for kids AND adults - can we say FUN! - races down the slides - obstacle courses to go through - slipping and falling trying to catch tags - the glow in the dark room with jumpys - just SO much fun - brought the child right out of all of us adults there - us adults are all thinking of having a booze-jumpy party there - what better place - that's what i call a good time?!

here's some pics from the birthday - and YES you will see that i gained A LOT of weight - how depressed i am over it - i also know my trainer is gonna whip me into shape and bikini body is on it's way!

Jonas and Indiya on Joe's legs - this is typical practice with kids around Joe - i'm convinced we need to open a child care center - Joe being the leader b/c kids CLING to him!

see what i mean?

this was just when we walked in the door - never mind what happened INSIDE the birthday party - AND Joe just had a tooth pulled and still had the "umph" to be a big kid! - he'll be such an amazing Daddy!

completely IMPOSSIBLE to get any higher with those tags - but man what a work out - and umm FUN!

i of course had to TRY everything out! - no toy, no bouncy, no slide, no ball, no nothing was untouched by me - it was adult play heaven!

the BIRTHDAY GIRL!!!!! - and where MANY races down the slide were held (ps getting UP the ladder part was even a challenge)

my babes friends!!! - HAPPY 6th BIRTHDAY LOVEBUG!

(being an Aunt has changed and saved my life - this girl is my world!)

SO THAT SUMS IT UP I THINK - a MIA blogger trying to get back into action and catching up her true groupies on what's been going on! - MUCH love and bliss!