On the Day I Die

On the die I day a lot will happen.
A lot will change.
The world will be busy.
On the day I die, all the important appointments I made will be left unattended.
The many plans I had yet to complete will remain forever undone.
The calendar that ruled so many of my days will now be irrelevant to me.
All the material things I so chased and guarded and treasured will be left in the hands of others to care for or to discard.
The words of my critics which so burdened me will cease to sting or capture anymore. They will be unable to touch me.
The arguments I believed I’d won here will not serve me or bring me any satisfaction or solace.   
All my noisy incoming notifications and texts and calls will go unanswered. Their great urgency will be quieted.
My many nagging regrets will all be resigned to the past, where they should have always been anyway.
Every superficial worry about my body that I ever labored over; about my waistline or hairline or frown lines, will fade away.
My carefully crafted image, the one I worked so hard to shape for others here, will be left to them to complete anyway.
The sterling reputation I once struggled so greatly to maintain will be of little concern for me anymore.
All the small and large anxieties that stole sleep from me each night will be rendered powerless.
The deep and towering mysteries about life and death that so consumed my mind will finally be clarified in a way that they could never be before while I lived.
These things will certainly all be true on the day that I die.
Yet for as much as will happen on that day, one more thing that will happen.
On the day I die, the few people who really know and truly love me will grieve deeply.
They will feel a void.
They will feel cheated.
They will not feel ready.
They will feel as though a part of them has died as well.
And on that day, more than anything in the world they will want more time with me.
I know this from those I love and grieve over.
And so knowing this, while I am still alive I’ll try to remember that my time with them is finite and fleeting and so very precious—and I’ll do my best not to waste a second of it.
I’ll try not to squander a priceless moment worrying about all the other things that will happen on the day I die, because many of those things are either not my concern or beyond my control.
Friends, those other things have an insidious way of keeping you from living even as you live; vying for your attention, competing for your affections.
They rob you of the joy of this unrepeatable, uncontainable, ever-evaporating Now with those who love you and want only to share it with you.
Don’t miss the chance to dance with them while you can.

It’s easy to waste so much daylight in the days before you die.

Don’t let your life be stolen every day by all that you’ve been led to believe matters, because on the day you die, the fact is that much of it simply won’t.
Yes, you and I will die one day.
But before that day comes: let us live.
by John Pavlovitz
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2016 has been a pretty awful year for myself and my family ~ my Dad has spent the last 7.5 months in the hospital ( was home for a little over a month and we finally thought he was in the clear; but last Saturday he ended up in the ER and now the nightmare continues ), my Mom had emergency eye surgery that didn't go as expected and still can't see, my 91 year old Gram has become to frail to live on her own and had to give up her apartment for a nursing home, and this is just to name a few things that have been going on ... it's been a roller coaster of emotions, and at times, I've found myself preparing for the worst because it is/was a reality ... ( my stomach is in knots for even writing that out ) ... my heart aches; a different kind of ache ... I do my very best not to complain or get frustrated as I know things can always be worse ... but i'm only human ... I thank God multiples times in a day for the many blessings I have ... and i thank Him for listening to me all night long; especially those 3 am 'chats' ... I have taken' the past 36 years of bountiful living for granted; that is quite clear to me now ... I have grown, learned, listened, felt, seen, and and imagined things this year that i never could of fathomed ... but that's living, right?   
"Nothing is ever so bad that it couldn't get worse."

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5 comments:

  1. Life isn't always fair nor is it easy. I don't know the right words to say it will be ok, because I don't know what the future will bring. But I do know that you should always count on your loved ones for support and know tomorrow is another day. Hugs to you from the other side of the world!

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    1. *hugs* it's worse b/c my rock ( my Dad ) may not make it much longer .. and i'm terrified ... but i pray and hope for a miracle! XO

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    2. God bless you sweetheart.Daddys are indeed irreplaceable..no where can we find comfort than under our Daddy's wings..but the things he taught you are never to be forgotten as he lives within you..look in your children's eyes and you will find him there

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  2. The road can get hard, and that's putting it lightly. The more loved ones we have in our lives, the higher the highs, the lower the lows. Try to focus on the good things you have right now and hold on to them like hell until the road smooths out a bit.

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    1. TY A ~ you are so right with the HIGH high's and the LOW lows ... 1 day at a time; 1 moment at a time - cherishing each bit while i still can!

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